Blind Love
by Sylvie Orp
Summary: For a copper, Doyle rates low in observation


_What a bender me and the lads had last night. I don't remember some of it, and I care not to remember other parts! Hodge was stringing out his beers and chasers. He said he didn't want to be ill for his wedding day. What's the point of a stag night if you don't get plastered? Anyway, he buggered off around midnight leaving us - noisily relieved - to drink ourselves into oblivion. It's amazing that we're all here at the church and on time for the nuptials. I look around the church and see red, bleary eyes staring back, and knowing smirks exchanged. I look at the groom fidgeting nervously in front of the vicar. He gives us a smug 'I'm all right' look. Then Cowley pops up. If looks could kill, he'd've wiped out most of the congregation! Hey up, here comes the bride._

Hungover and tired, the CI5 agents had nevertheless managed to turn up on time for Hodge's wedding. The groom managed to say 'I do' in all the right places. The organ and the church bells continued to drive the spike even deeper into the throbbing heads of the congregation. Eventually the parties spilled out into the churchyard as photographs were taken. An anxious agent, who had been placed on standby, waylaid Doyle. The world doesn't stop – even for a wedding.

"The Major wants you and Bodie to Tooley Street double quick."

Bodie had noticed the driver and had wandered over to listen in. The pair exchanged glances.

"On our way," Doyle replied wearily.

 _Can't the world just stop once in a while, particularly when I've a head as bad as this? I hope it's a false alarm. I don't think I can walk straight let alone shoot anything (apart_ _from my foot). Fortunately Doyle moves round to the driving seat and settles himself in. I've got some deep thoughts to think. I've been thinking them for a while now, even putting out feelers now and then, but nothing was taken up. God, Doyle can be obtuse sometimes. How long have we been together; been partners? See, even that sounds like a marriage, doesn't it? I'm surprised Cowley didn't get us to say 'I do' when he'd teamed us up! Well, Doyle and I have had our differences, but we make up in the end. Somehow the rows, even the moody silences, seem to bond us more deeply. Yeah, I've been doing a lot of thinking about Doyle; Doyle and I. Well, I guess I need to focus on the job. First thing is to find out what the hell it's all about._

"It doesn't stop, does it?" Bodie lamented as they left the wedding party. That was a nice meal and a dance at the reception blown out of the water. The pair had been on standby, so there was always the risk that they may not even have had the chance to hear the vows let alone anything else. They flung themselves tiredly into the car and Bodie reached for the radio. He was brought up to date as Doyle drove them north. A pair of agents had tracked a small gang of known terrorists to an address in Tooley Street and already considered themselves outnumbered, so wanted back-up before they burst in. The 'A' team were on their way. Doyle noticed that Bodie seemed to be rather withdrawn. He concluded that as Bodie – and himself – got older, they couldn't take the riotous all-night celebrations like they used to. Doyle tried to josh Bodie into a better mood.

"Well that's another man lost to all female society."

Bodie said nothing. Doyle try jolting his partner. "Who knows, I might be next."

Doyle had been dating a pretty blonde now for several months. Even Cowley had had her checked out. The signs were good.

"Come on, Bodie. Don't be so glum. There's someone out there just waiting to make an honest man out of you."

Bodie finally turned to his partner. "There is," he murmured enigmatically. Doyle looked surprised. "And keep your bloody eyes on the road!"

There was a strained silence.

"All right Bodie, you've got me. Who is she – that I don't know about?"

"For a copper, you rate low in observation, Doyle."

This was an accusation Bodie had thrown at his partner before. Doyle was beginning to get angry. But they had arrived at their destination now, so any further chat would have to wait. They quickly found their colleagues.

 _After I'd got a handle on the job we were going to I put out another of my feelers. Having just seen the shenanigans of the wedding ceremony, I thought Doyle might be a bit more receptive. Nothing. God, he's incredibly thick and getting right up my nose at the moment. Or is he just winding me up? Now there's a thought. Well, we've arrived now, so I better focus._

"The one time I wear a good suit..."

"What do you mean, Ray", commented Murphy, "it's your _only_ suit!"

"What's going off?" Bodie cut in.

Murphy raised an eyebrow at his colleague's terseness but said nothing. Everyone was entitled to a moody now and then, and they had been dragged from the wedding reception.

"We tracked a pair of uglies here. They've hooked up with three others as far as we can make out. They're all inside. Me and Collins aren't going to take them on all by ourselves."

Collins looked more embarrassed than Murphy, but common sense overtook pride. The call for backup was exactly what was needed.

"Okay," Bodie said, "What's the plan?"

 _This was a textbook case of rousting the villains from their hidey hole. Nothing can be taken for granted, of course. We all need to be on our toes. A plan of the house would have been useful, but there wasn't time for that. No time for wool-gathering now._

By agreement, Murphy and Collins took the back, while the other pair took the front. There would be a double entry on Murphy's signal. The men tensed. A shrill whistle and the team stormed in. Murph and Collins threw themselves to the ground on entry as their training had taught them. It saved their lives. Bullets wizzed over their heads. The agents fired instantly as they dropped to the floor. The pair of villains would give them no trouble now. CI5 had trained their agents well. Doyle crashed through the front door simultaneously, Bodie right behind him. Doyle threw himself into the living room and felled a sniper there while Bodie headed for the stairs.

"Look out!" Doyle screamed as a sniper suddenly emerged from the understairs cupboard.

There was an exchange of fire. Murph and Collins ran to the hallway but were a second too late. Bodie fell backwards down the stairs and arrived in an untidy heap at the bottom. Fortunately he hadn't far to fall. Doyle had a deep graze to his upper arm from the sniper and was clutching it as though that would ease the pain. The gunman felt nothing at all. Doyle didn't miss. He anxiously unfolded his partner to find a flower of blood across his new shirt. The bullet had made a neat hole in his tie.

 _Once we heard the signal we 'went over the top'. Doyle shouldered the door with me close on his heels. I could tell from the angle of his entry that he was going to make a try for the living room, so I belted off up the stairs. I was half-way up in a second when Doyle (I think it was) yelled. I turned but wasn't quick enough. What kind of a position is that to come from? I saw the barrel half a second before it was fired. Of course I had my gun in my hand, but I'm not sure that I took at shot at him, or anything else. My chest seemed to explode. I had a sensation of falling backwards. 'Don't let me be crippled' I remember thinking as I skydived backwards. What I stupid thought to have when you've already got half your chest missing. I don't remember hitting the last step. The next thing I do remember is Doyle tearing my good shirt to pieces. He was frantic. 'Easy fella,' I thought. 'We can take this more slowly, you know.'_

Doyle turned as he felt movement behind him. Murph looked over his colleague's shoulder anxiously.

"Get a doctor!" Doyle yelled.

Murph didn't need to be told twice and hared off.

"All right, mate," Doyle soothed, as he undid the tie and started to unbutton the shirt. Bodie was gasping for air and trying to keep conscious. His body was shuddering with shock.

Collins reported, "Ambulance is on its way, Ray."

"Are you and Mike okay?"

Doyle's attention was completely on his partner, but he needed to know how bad their position was.

"We're okay," Murph confirmed, to Doyle's relief. He felt he couldn't cope with anything more right now. Doyle bore down on the wound.

"Try to breathe slowly, mate. Help's on its way."

 _I've rarely seen such terror on my mate's face - and we've been through some hairy stuff, as you know. I wanted to comfort him, to tell him I was going to be ok - but I never was one for lying straight - not with him; not when it mattered. The stupid bugger still doesn't know. He hasn't a clue. If I could just get my words out ..._

Bodie stared into Doyle's anxious eyes. He knew how badly he been hurt. He also needed very urgently to tell his partner something – all the more urgent now that his life was ebbing. He had to know now.

"It's you," he blurted.

Doyle felt his lungs constrict. "Yeah, mate. It's me, Ray. Try..."

Bodie shook his head and attempted a smile. "I know it's you..".

Doyle looked confused. They heard an ambulance screaming towards them. Bodie sighed, which sent a shudder through his body. He'd have to spell it out before the medics got here and before it was too late. He grasped Doyle's sleeve urgently. Doyle cried out in pain. He bit down hard on his bottom lip.

"You don't know your own strength, sailor."

 _How many times can I say it? How many ways? He's frightened and confused. He's not thinking straight. I take a deep breath. Very bad idea. Pain like you wouldn't believe washes through me. I think I lost consciousness for a while. I make a grab for him and unfortunately get the one - main - place where it hurts most. Blood - his blood - squeezes through my fingers. 'Sorry'. I thought I'd said the word, but I wasn't sure. He tries to make a joke of it as he battles with his own pain. I just manage to force some air into my lungs to have another go at getting through that thick skull of his, when the medics turn up with all their noise and clatter and he's distracted. I grasp his tie._

Bodie mouthed some words, but they were lost in the noise of the paramedics bursting through the door with their equipment. Bodie grasped Doyle's tie. His friend knew he was trying to say something important. Perhaps he recognised some of the gang. Doyle leaned in.

"I love you, you old sod," Bodie gasped, releasing Doyle's tie.

Doyle sat back on his heels as a doctor pushed past him, jolting his injured arm. But he was oblivious now to the pain. He stared in shock at his partner. Bodie gave a lopsided grin and nodded as the doctor placed an oxygen mask over his face. Murph gently got Doyle to his feet. He saw blood seeping down his friend's arm and the look of shock on his face.

 _I'll have to just come out with it. "I love you, you old sod." There it's said and out now. Such a relief. If those are to be my final words in this life, I'm ok with that. What's been said can't be put back. I feel more at peace now. The look of shock on Doyle's face would be comic if it weren't so bloody serious. My hand slips from his tie and I lie back. I've no strength left in me. My lungs bubble when I breathe in. I think I'm drowning. Murph is pushing Doyle away, but he looks anxiously over his shoulder at me. 'Don't leave me!' But I don't think the words came out. No-one seemed to hear me, though Doyle is staring at me as though he's seen the Gates of Hell. Perhaps he has. God, the pain's getting worse. I can feel the darkness closing in. I've never been so scared. Please help me through this, Ray. I know you've been here yourself. You know what it's like to have your life seeping through the carpet and bugger all you can do about it. Sweet Jesus, help me Ray!_

"Come on, Ray," Murphy said softly. "Let the dog see the rabbit."

They made way for the doctors to load their precious cargo onto a stretcher. As they approached the ambulance, Bodie made an effort to take off the mask. Doyle, still supported by Murph, watched the doctor gently wrestle the mask back on.

Before the ambulance doors closed, the doctor turned to Doyle and said, "He said 'It was always you.' Does that mean anything?"

Doyle was too shocked to reply.

 _The darkness swept over me as the medics worked on me. I don't know how long I was out of it, but once we were outside, the cold air brought me round a bit. I noticed that they'd put an oxygen mask on my face. It all came back - Doyle with his own mask, that wonky smile as he tried to reassure me in the ambulance. If only I could hold onto his courage. I push the mask away. The doctor's fighting me, but he can see I want to say something. "Tell him it was always you." The man looked confused and figured that I was raving. Well, I'm happy for him to think that. I don't care. I just want him to pass the message on before my lights go out. The mask is put back as they load me up. I'm alone. So terribly alone. I don't have Doyle with me. Why isn't he here? Don't leave me, Ray. Please, please don't leave me ..._

Murph drove his partner and Doyle to the hospital, trailing behind the ambulance at high speed. Such breakneck rides always had the adrenaline going, but not today. Murph glanced now and then at his colleague, but Doyle was lost in his own world as he tried to make Bodie's words mean something else; but he kept going back to the beginning. The beginning of their partnership, the beginning of everything. Tears seeped down Doyle's face unnoticed as they arrived at the hospital.

"Bodie's as tough as old boots," Murphy encouraged as he helped his colleague out of the car.

He hadn't asked what Bodie had meant before they loaded him into the ambulance, and felt his friend was too shocked by what had happened to quiz him now.

Doyle suddenly turned to Murphy as they entered Casualty. "I never knew. All these years and I never knew."

Murphy of course had no idea what Doyle meant, so fell back on practicalities and led him to the nursing station for treatment as Cowley arrived.

"What's going on?" the Controller asked brusquely.

"I've no idea," Murphy replied slowly as he watched Ray being led away by an efficient-looking nurse. He only knew that something had just happened.


End file.
